Just when I thought I had lost all vindiction towards my uncle, time and time again he pisses me off by taking advantage of my dad. It was okay when my dad had to drive all the way to Jempol, Negeri Sembilan, on kampung roads that bore no headlights, shrouded in mist, also known for some notorious animal-road-crossings. In those roads, kerbau, and sometimes a lone elephant are known to cross those narrow roads at night. Nevermind that my dad was out from 9pm to 5am the next morning, leaving us worried sick. After all, they had been in a terrible accident.

Every twice a week, my dad would travel to Hospital Tuanku Jaafar, more often with me, sometimes with our family. We took care of them there, but so did their neighbours, and that was good.

My grandmother lamented and cried, and became emotional, very OTT, and wanted to give him money. But my dad foresaw some banking complications (forgot the details) so he decided to take out RM5000 for his opportunistic brother. And guess what? He just took the money! Nevermind that my dad is retired and has no income, as opposed to himself. No, what does that good-for-nothing asshole care for? Besides his family, and religion.

He was even reluctant to allow his Teluk Intan relatives (I say 'he' because he knows them better than I do) to visit him in the hospital because it would look weird to all his Malay friends and neighbours. He's a Chinese-Malay-wannabe, yes he is. How absolutely ungrateful.

Not only that, but we helped him run his class in my neighbourhood, I collected the money every week and passed it to him. If the accounts came out short, there was hell to be heard. But if there was an excess in cash, that was okay. Being slightly the perfectionist, especially when it comes to responsibility, I found his moral conduct sorely lacking.

Every Saturday now, my dad has to fetch their whole family to Sunway Medical Center, then to my place where my uncle has now assumed his rightful place in the dojang (Taekwondo training center). I usually confine myself to my room, because I can have nothing good to say to him, though I like his wife and children (okay, just the youngest. The second son is an asshole, he'll grow up to be just like his dad, and the eldest I think is starting to veer off in the wrong direction, if only slightly) and anyone who's been to my house will know that it can get uncomfortable with too many people. Especially when there are kids around, they take up the whole living room. Now that it's exam period, and I'm stressed about everything. I just feel like telling them to 'Fuck off'.

It has never been more difficult to follow Jesus' teachings, and I feel so guilty that this anger is inside of me. But I cannot get rid of it, at least not for now. I can pray for God to take away this hate, but am I truly honest in my asking? I don't know, I just don't know. But I do pray for His guidance, that I may not act in a rash manner, that I will not hurt their feelings, and I don't. I as polite as I can be. But that doesn't make me any more honest. And I am sorry for that.

Matthew 5:43-48 43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shall love thy neighbor, and hate your enemy. 44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; 45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he makes his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? 47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? 48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect. (KJV)

Just when I thought I had lost all vindiction towards my uncle, time and time again he pisses me off by taking advantage of my dad. It was okay when my dad had to drive all the way to Jempol, Negeri Sembilan, on kampung roads that bore no headlights, shrouded in mist, also known for some notorious animal-road-crossings. In those roads, kerbau, and sometimes a lone elephant are known to cross those narrow roads at night. Nevermind that my dad was out from 9pm to 5am the next morning, leaving us worried sick. After all, they had been in a terrible accident.

Every twice a week, my dad would travel to Hospital Tuanku Jaafar, more often with me, sometimes with our family. We took care of them there, but so did their neighbours, and that was good.

My grandmother lamented and cried, and became emotional, very OTT, and wanted to give him money. But my dad foresaw some banking complications (forgot the details) so he decided to take out RM5000 for his opportunistic brother. And guess what? He just took the money! Nevermind that my dad is retired and has no income, as opposed to himself. No, what does that good-for-nothing asshole care for? Besides his family, and religion.

He was even reluctant to allow his Teluk Intan relatives (I say 'he' because he knows them better than I do) to visit him in the hospital because it would look weird to all his Malay friends and neighbours. He's a Chinese-Malay-wannabe, yes he is. How absolutely ungrateful.

Not only that, but we helped him run his class in my neighbourhood, I collected the money every week and passed it to him. If the accounts came out short, there was hell to be heard. But if there was an excess in cash, that was okay. Being slightly the perfectionist, especially when it comes to responsibility, I found his moral conduct sorely lacking.

Every Saturday now, my dad has to fetch their whole family to Sunway Medical Center, then to my place where my uncle has now assumed his rightful place in the dojang (Taekwondo training center). I usually confine myself to my room, because I can have nothing good to say to him, though I like his wife and children (okay, just the youngest. The second son is an asshole, he'll grow up to be just like his dad, and the eldest I think is starting to veer off in the wrong direction, if only slightly) and anyone who's been to my house will know that it can get uncomfortable with too many people. Especially when there are kids around, they take up the whole living room. Now that it's exam period, and I'm stressed about everything. I just feel like telling them to 'Fuck off'.

It has never been more difficult to follow Jesus' teachings, and I feel so guilty that this anger is inside of me. But I cannot get rid of it, at least not for now. I can pray for God to take away this hate, but am I truly honest in my asking? I don't know, I just don't know. But I do pray for His guidance, that I may not act in a rash manner, that I will not hurt their feelings, and I don't. I as polite as I can be. But that doesn't make me any more honest. And I am sorry for that.

Matthew 5:43-48 43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shall love thy neighbor, and hate your enemy. 44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; 45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he makes his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? 47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? 48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect. (KJV)